Some stuff.

It's time for another long post! Okay, so it won't be too long and it will still end with a song, as my posts usually do.

So, some updates on RpG related activities. You know that RP I liked so much? Well, it died, but I've found some that I like. It's not all bad, I just kind of wish people wouldn't have stopped posting in it. The ones that were posting (myself included) couldn't post anything more once the others stopped because our posts were dependent on theirs. But like I said, it's okay ^~^ I've joined a few others.

The ones I joined or made were scifi westerns (Firefly/Serenity-type). Those are fun ^~^ My characters for the two I'm in are a "Peng Saleswoman" (though technically she's a spy/merc and I don't specifically say she sells Peng.) The other is a mechanic on a pirate ship (space pirates on Mars, but generally operating on one of Jupiter's moons, Io, which is also my character's home planet), but she's currently deceiving the pirates alongside a bounty hunter.



Okay, other Guild news: I'm getting annoyed by certain members who can't be...verbally graceful. Especially one who apparently said she was older and used a friend's sister's picture. I still like her as a friend, though, and if for some strange reason she's reading this: Please PM me. I don't hate you and haven't said anything behind your back. You know who you are.

I've gotten yelled at a lot lately, most of it happening yesterday. My mom yelled at me over something out of my control (inconvenient panic attacks at my sister's birthday party) and, what hurt more: I got yelled at by the person I love over a cult I started (not for starting the cult, but for accepting too many people). Of course, I hold nothing against either one. They both have their reasons. I just don't like being yelled at. And...I managed to go the whole day without crying! I'm so proud of myself ^~^

As promised, here's a song by the same artist that I posted yesterday! (Lauren O'Connell, youtube user LaurenOC12)

New Favorite Song

Yes, I have a new favorite version of a song! (It helps that the singer is pretty, but I really like the song and she has talent, too ^~^).



And I'm sorry these all cut off >< This is the narrowest size available for this particular video ><.

I'm Loved

That.

And time for a video!

Roleplaying

I am in quite possibly the most awesome RP ever right now on Roleplayer Guild! ^~^ AND I even get to use one of my most awesome races, the Dazh! Woo! I even drew my character AND COLORED HER! I'm new to coloring in photoshop ^~^ I think I did a good job ^~^

Over.

So...apparently every time I tell the truth, I'm lying and every time I lie, I'm telling the truth. I've lost her. She hates me. And this time it's over something I told her a long time ago that was true. She didn't believe me and said I was lying no matter what I said unless I admitted I lied, but I promised her I'd never lie to her. So I've lost her for good over her not believing the truth. I will still love her forever; she was The One. Oh well. Like I said, I get over things quickly.

I'll still miss her.

But I'm going to move on ^~^ I'm strangely...extremely happy! I should be crying. I should be angry. I should show some sign of loss. But no effect whatsoever. I'm not denying it happened; I've likely lost her forever and by all means, I should be at the very least...sad. Nothing.

I deserve to die.

I deserve to die and I want someone out there to find me and kill me. I have lost the person I love and its all my fault for telling her the truth about something I did. I'll never be forgiven and I deserve to suffer for eternity. I want her forgiveness, but I know it'll never happen.

SOMEONE KILL ME.

EDIT: Okay. Over it. Didn't think I would be over it so quickly. I would be boundlessly happy if she forgave me, but I still don't expect it. If she doesn't...meh. I've moved on. I'll find someone who will love me for my present and future and will forgive me for my past. I want to be loved conditionally, of course; stupid mistakes in the present should have consequences, not unrelated past mistakes. She lasted longer than I expected, though; more than a month. Good thing I'm used to these short relationships.

EDIT 2: Second chance! I will do anything it takes to keep her happy now. I don't want to lose her again.

^~^

I'm 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% sure I've found "The One" ^~^ (Though it's a different person than I'd been talking about, who is a really close frind, not a lover, though I love her, too, just not in the same way). I feel super awesome with her and I can't not be happy around her! And guess what?! She's expressed it back, not my OCD telling me she does because I do! She loves me and I love her!

I think I've posted some of his stuff before, but this is his newest upload...convenient, huh?

lonlonjp - FFXIII's Eternal Love

Sorry that it gets cut off on the side a bit, but that's really unnecessary; all that matters is listening to the song, huh? Unless you want to play it...but I've linked to it for that very purpose ^~^ Okay, so I figured you should give it a thumbs up or thumbs down if you liked it.